Chapter 26: January 20, A Happy Ending?

And so, the last remaining Assassin evaporated into light.

"Excal...ibur...?"

Then, Rider grabbed Saber's shoulder.

"Calm down, Saber. I don't know what your Master said to you, but Assassin is gone now."

"Huu... Huu..."

Artoria was so excited that one could almost hallucinate hearing her heart rate from here.

Perhaps because my words were too factual, she lost control and fired her Noble Phantasm more than three times in a row.

She could only do this because Tiamat was here. Without her, she would have surely disappeared from mana depletion.

"Phew, I have shown you an unsightly side of myself."

"Hahahaha, you getting angry like a child was quite adorable and entertaining to watch. I, the King, shall forgive this transgression."

Gilgamesh acted magnanimous, but knowing the original story where he essentially demanded Artoria become his concubine, I couldn't help but think that was why he was saying such things.

With no more Assassins left, Rider released his Reality Marble. Waver looked at me with a bewildered expression, as if to ask, "Is that even possible?"

"A mana m-monster..."

"Let's just eat quietly for now... There should be no more interruptions."

Rider simply nodded in agreement.

It seemed he found it chilling that Artoria had lost her composure and fired her Noble Phantasm three times.

The Assassin had tried to dodge the first Noble Phantasm, but when she used it again and again, it was swallowed by the light without being able to offer any resistance.

The Holy Sword's performance was worth its cost, but its mana consumption was severe in proportion to its power.

In terms of mana efficiency, Caliburn was superior to Excalibur.

However, its maximum output was limited, and it was merely a sword of selection, making it nothing more than an unfinished product compared to Excalibur.

'Still, even though it's unfinished, considering mana efficiency, Caliburn is better...'

Excalibur's true performance is partially sealed, and it can temporarily release those seals under certain conditions.

But Caliburn, while having its limits and being better in mana efficiency, would break under the strain of Artoria's full mana.

'But if I used Caliburn, could I withstand it? Should I try learning projection magecraft later? Once Fate/Zero is over, it might not be a bad idea to kill time by learning swordsmanship like Emiya Shirou...'

I was getting quite bored just sitting around idly.

I thought about learning from Merlin, who has Hero Creation EX, but regardless of gender, he is a criminal who must ultimately be beaten to death by Fou.

'Let's give up on Merlin. And Artoria... let's give up on her too. I should learn how to use a spear first.'

Looking at Artoria's current state, I felt like I'd become the target of her venting.

I'd thrown too many facts at her. Considering she used Excalibur three times, I had a feeling I was going to get beaten severely with a bamboo sword.

It might be better to learn magecraft from Medea and various weapon skills from Lancelot, once his Mad Enhancement is removed.

And so, the meal ended. While Rider and Gilgamesh spent their time drinking, Artoria stared at the sky as if experiencing a moment of stark reality.

Irisviel drank and ate without a word. Waver was seen only drinking water and eating a little food. Tiamat was nibbling away bit by bit, and Caster was also nibbling while Lancer sat and observed the situation.

The only Servant who had been eliminated was Assassin, but I also wondered why we had sent him away in the first place.

As time passed, the banquet came to a close, and everyone eventually returned to their respective homes.

When we parted, Waver had a somewhat satisfied expression.

"Well then, shall we head back too?"

"Iri!"

"Huh?"

When her name was called from somewhere, Lancer and Caster went on alert.

"That voice... it's Kirei."

As Artoria spoke, recognizing the familiar voice, I began to understand upon hearing "Kirei."

This was the Einzbern mansion.

I could deduce that the hired Kirei had become the Master in her stead to participate in the war, and that due to Irisviel's disappearance and disqualification as a Master, and the Servant going missing, he had been waiting at the mansion, unable to do anything.

"Hehe, Kirei? I see three Kireis~"

Irisviel was drunk from the alcohol Gilgamesh had given her.

Kirei approached Irisviel while aiming his gun at me. Lancer and Caster, wary of the gun, began to gather around me.

"I understand she is an acquaintance of yours, but is it right to aim a weapon at your Master?"

"What have you done to Irisviel?"

"She drank. That's all."

Upon hearing this, Kirei, perhaps having seen the scene, simply nodded.

But he did not lower his gun.

"Saber... I thought you had been eliminated."

"Kirei... Let's talk about you raping a one-year-old."

At that, Kirei's face was filled with panic and bewilderment, his eyes twitching intensely.

"I don't know what Saber or Irisviel told you, but don't misunderstand."

"No, there's no need for misunderstanding. I've heard the whole truth from Irisviel."

As Kirei's pupils trembled, Maiya appeared behind him, also aiming a gun.

Meanwhile, Tiamat was wary of Maiya, while Lancer and Caster were wary of Kirei.

"Could you please lower that creepy gun? And are you in an affair with Maiya? When Irisviel wasn't around... I bet you got together."

"How do you know...?"

Then, we saw Kirei get grabbed by the neck by Irisviel.

"Gahk, Iri!?"

"Hey, Kirei, why didn't you tell me about your relationship with Maiya?"

"W-well, you see..."

"What about our Illya...?"

I cut in between their conversation.

"If it's Illya we're talking about, I think she'd be happy to have a little brother or sister."

"If it's Illya, she might."

Kirei agreed with my words.

Are this couple strange? Or do they understand each other so well that they know Illya that deeply?

"Maiya! Lower your gun and come here."

"Madam?"

Given the situation, Maiya also had a bewildered expression.

"When did you get together with Kirei?"

"That is......"

At that, Kirei let out a deep sigh and spoke.

"It was around the time Iri went to Fuyuki... I'm sorry, Irisviel."

"Kirei, why didn't you even consult me, your wife? Was I just a tool for the Holy Grail?"

"No, Iri, you are also precious family, but..."

"Kirei, I understand too. You're just too kind... You've been with Maiya for a long time. It wouldn't be strange if you had that kind of relationship. Yes, that's right... I'm the bad woman who came in between and made you fall for me."

"Madam, no! I'm the bad one here!"

"No, neither Iri nor Maiya did anything wrong. I'm the one who's wrong."

Suddenly the atmosphere turned into that of a trashy drama. Lancer and Caster said:

"Is there any food left? I feel like we need to watch this with some snacks."

"......"

"Got any popcorn? Or maybe some 3D glasses..."

We watched the spectacle of Kirei's love triangle.

"Maiya, can I ask you one thing?"

"Please, speak, Madam."

"Hey... wouldn't it be better to squeeze Kirei dry so this doesn't happen again?"

Hearing that, Maiya blushed, turned her face away, and nodded.

"If Maiya gets pregnant, I'll make you take birth control pills and still squeeze you dry, Kirei. So you can't even think of other women. I'll squeeze you so that no more women are added and this affair doesn't repeat itself."

Maiya seemed to understand and nodded in agreement.

"That's a good idea. Kirei, if I get pregnant later, what will you name the child?"

Kirei's face began to turn pale as the situation grew increasingly bizarre.

"Wait, why has the conversation turned like this? Iri, this isn't like you? Maiya, you too?"

"Kirei, this Holy Grail War is a mistake. We'll have to aim for the next one."

"I think so too. But before that, what should we name the child?"

"What about Illya? To get Illya back, we need the Grail, right?"

Then, I spoke up.

"If that's all, I think I might be able to help with that?"

Kirei began to look at me with a puzzled expression.

"If we go in as Servants, even the Einzberns wouldn't be able to win."

Just bringing Tiamat alone would be enough to ruin the Einzbern family.

Meanwhile, Kirei's face didn't look good, as if he felt the situation was spinning out of control.

"Hahaha, what about the Grail?"

"Whether it's the corrupted Grail or the proper one... it will only produce the results it can create, right? For example, if you wish for peace, it might just kill all living things or whatever to ensure no more wars happen."

"I thought the Grail was omnipotent?"

"What good is omnipotence? It's just a nuisance that produces unwanted results. Unless your wish is for incarnation or something personal, it's just a public menace. Originally, the Grail was created to reach the Root, to achieve the Third Magic."

And then, Kirei, while being held by Irisviel and Maiya, began to laugh.

"Hahaha, what did I even participate in this Holy Grail War for?"

"Now, don't think about other women, just look only at me and Maiya. And take care of Illya too. Hic."

"Madam, let's finish him off for good this time."

"Okay! Let's go."

And so, Kirei was being dragged away towards a "death by overwork" Fate/ending.

"Good luck, Kirei."

Seeing Kirei being dragged off towards what seemed like a happy ending, I thought that this might be his happiness.

"Akira, is the Holy Grail really a nuisance? Doesn't it grant any wish?"

"Well, the Grail is a nuisance. For example, if Medea wished to return to her homeland by changing history, right? Do you think the gods of that era would just stand by? It would just create a vicious cycle. As you know, Greek and Roman mythology was a mess."

Hearing that, Medea's expression became mixed, as if she understood.

"You know my wish too. It's kind of creepy now that I think about it. If I think about it, even if I returned to my homeland, the gods probably wouldn't leave me alone, and if the flow of events gets distorted, would I end up wishing for the Grail again?"

"Probably. The Grail grants wishes, but it doesn't guarantee true happiness. Well... it's common for it to create Singularities..."

I suddenly thought of Batori.

Squeeeeak!

Listen to my song!

Surprise~!

If a Singularity like that actually occurred, I would want to avoid it.

If Batori were to sing a song of love like a beloved idol, it might be healing, but generally, her tone-deafness is close to ultrasonic waves, so wanting to hear her sing is akin to suicide.

Considering how the Servants in Fate/Grand Order avoid it, Batori is truly... terrifying.

And on top of that, there's Nero who is similar to Batori... I decided to stop thinking about it.

"Well then, shall we go?"

I wouldn't be seeing Irisviel anymore after this, but I planned to meet them again once the Holy Grail War was over.

'Ah... I forgot to get Avalon.'

Unfortunately, I realized this important fact too late, but since I would meet him later anyway, I could get it from him then.